1 00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:02,335 (Oswald and Lewis) Ho-ho-ho. Ho-ho-ho. 2 00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:05,087 Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. 3 00:00:05,087 --> 00:00:07,298 Drew, it's me, Oswald. 4 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:10,510 - And Lewis. - Heh-heh. 5 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,886 [chuckling] 6 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,805 I know what you're thinking, but I promise you 7 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,349 we got some great stuff for your toy drive this year. 8 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:21,312 I was able to sneak out DrugCo's new mascot 9 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:22,939 Little Druggie. 10 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,443 And his pet pony. 11 00:00:27,443 --> 00:00:29,069 I call him my pretty Percodan. 12 00:00:29,069 --> 00:00:31,364 [chuckles] 13 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:34,116 What, is that from the train-spotting collection? 14 00:00:34,116 --> 00:00:35,951 Who's gonna want those for their little kids? 15 00:00:35,951 --> 00:00:38,579 Alright, everyone, I'm ready to judge this floor's entry 16 00:00:38,579 --> 00:00:40,998 in the Beautify Your Workstation contest. 17 00:00:40,998 --> 00:00:43,292 (Wick) 'So if you want those two tickets to the Bahamas' 18 00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:46,546 pucker up, one butt, no waiting. 19 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:49,090 Uh, sir, it's not garbage. It's for our Christmas toy drive. 20 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:53,010 Yes, I'm well aware. It is a toy. Kenny Cappy. 21 00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:54,888 Merry Christmas, everyone. 22 00:00:59,308 --> 00:01:01,894 Mr. Wick flipped over what I did to my counter. 23 00:01:01,894 --> 00:01:03,646 - What did you do? - I dressed like this. 24 00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:05,272 And danced on it. 25 00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:08,193 I'm getting the trip, and I made 20 bucks. 26 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,869 (Drew) Nice job with the outfit, Kate. 27 00:01:18,869 --> 00:01:21,331 I'll be thinking about it while I'm down in the Bahamas 28 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,291 'cause you're goin' down, O'Brien. 29 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,000 Goin' down? Yeah, I'm goin' down. 30 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,044 I'm goin' down to buy a bathing suit 31 00:01:27,044 --> 00:01:29,172 'cause I'm goin' down to the Bahamas. 32 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,840 Then we're checking in to our hotel room 33 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,801 where Oswald's goin'... 34 00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:37,180 I don't know, to get me a drink or something? 35 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:41,684 Alright, Mimi, what grotesque vision of hell 36 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:44,145 have you brought us this year? 37 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:47,482 Well, it ain't much, but I hope you like it. 38 00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:53,654 ♪ Hallelujah Hallelujah ♪ 39 00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:57,992 ♪ Send Mimi to the Bahamas she really works hard ♪ 40 00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:01,162 ♪ She has to look at Drew ♪ 41 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:05,290 ♪ He's a big pig he's an eyesore in a swimsuit ♪ 42 00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:07,794 ♪ He shouldn't get the prize ♪ 43 00:02:13,841 --> 00:02:17,511 Wait a second. It's not fair to use cute, little kids. 44 00:02:17,511 --> 00:02:20,222 ♪ Bite us snow boy bite us snow boy ♪ 45 00:02:20,222 --> 00:02:23,268 ♪ Bite us snow boy ♪ 46 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,354 ♪ You dork ♪ 47 00:02:28,981 --> 00:02:30,567 Well, Mimi, that's incredible! 48 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,276 You've actually managed to recreate 49 00:02:32,276 --> 00:02:33,986 the abbey of my childhood. 50 00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:37,406 - Well, I did a little research. - Yes, apparently, not enough. 51 00:02:37,406 --> 00:02:39,367 I was beaten up by every choirboy and nun 52 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,662 in the whole stinking place. You lose. 53 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:46,707 ♪ We wish you hadn't said that we wish you hadn't said that ♪ 54 00:02:46,707 --> 00:02:52,045 ♪ We wish you hadn't said that we know where you live ♪ 55 00:02:52,045 --> 00:02:54,298 (Wick) Alright, Carey, let's see what you've got. 56 00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:55,842 Well, it's not adorable little children 57 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,552 desecrating religious music, sir 58 00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,596 but, uh, it's the best I could do. 59 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:07,604 I can eat everything in my cubicle. 60 00:03:10,731 --> 00:03:12,483 What's new about that? 61 00:03:13,817 --> 00:03:16,571 Carey, do I dare dream it? 62 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,407 Yes, sir. Peppermint pink slips. 63 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,409 They're made out of rice paper. Go ahead and try one. 64 00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:25,788 Mm. Melty. Mm. 65 00:03:27,289 --> 00:03:29,416 Minty. Mm-hmm. 66 00:03:29,416 --> 00:03:33,129 Well, sir, I'm the last cubicle. Time to judge the winner. 67 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:36,215 Well, I'm very impressed with your efforts, Carey 68 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:38,134 but on the other hand 69 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,595 'O'Brien's over there all tarted up.' 70 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,181 R-rar. 71 00:03:44,181 --> 00:03:46,892 Oh, what the heck? It's a tie. 72 00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:49,312 One ticket for you. One ticket to you. 73 00:03:51,647 --> 00:03:53,775 Hey, I wanted to take my boyfriend. 74 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,234 And I wanted to take Nicki. 75 00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:57,570 I want to give a damn. 76 00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:01,365 No, no, no. No, I do. I-I really, really do. 77 00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:03,659 But I don't. 78 00:04:03,659 --> 00:04:06,996 Oh-ho, this is beautiful, I might have lost 79 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,582 but you have to go to the most romantic place in the world 80 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,752 with your friend. Heh-heh. 81 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,713 ♪ You're a dipwad you're a dipwad ♪ 82 00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:20,384 ♪ You're a dipwad ♪ ♪ Pig ♪ 83 00:04:20,384 --> 00:04:27,099 ♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪ 84 00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:30,228 ♪ All this energy callin' me ♪ 85 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,355 ♪ Back where it comes from ♪ 86 00:04:33,355 --> 00:04:36,483 ♪ It's such a crude attitude ♪ 87 00:04:36,483 --> 00:04:39,403 ♪ It's back where it belongs ♪ 88 00:04:39,403 --> 00:04:42,698 ♪ All the little chicks with the crimson lips go ♪ 89 00:04:42,698 --> 00:04:45,701 ♪ Cleveland rocks Cleveland rocks ♪ 90 00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:49,121 ♪ She's livin' in sin with a safety pin going ♪ 91 00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:52,499 ♪ Cleveland rocks Cleveland rocks ♪ 92 00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:54,460 ♪ Cleveland rocks ♪ 93 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,964 [echoing] Ohio! 94 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,009 [instrumental music] 95 00:05:02,676 --> 00:05:04,303 Man, it's freezing out. It's too cold to play. 96 00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:06,306 No, it's not. Just one game. 97 00:05:15,022 --> 00:05:17,357 - Can we go in now? - No, no, no, look. 98 00:05:17,357 --> 00:05:18,901 I-I need to talk to you, listen, I'm.. I-I... 99 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,319 I don't think I should go to the Bahamas, I'm worried 100 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,363 about being down there with Kate alone. 101 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:23,572 Hey, Drew, this sounds important. 102 00:05:23,572 --> 00:05:25,366 So let me tell you something. 103 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:28,411 I'm not making a point. My finger's frozen. 104 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,122 I can't bend it and I can't stop my hand from shaking. 105 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:32,956 - Can we go in now? - No, no, Kate's in there. 106 00:05:32,956 --> 00:05:35,710 - Oh.. Ah. - Listen, uh, here. 107 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,837 D-don't tell anybody I told you this, but I think 108 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,589 I'm jealous of her dating Oswald. 109 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,133 Oh, that's gonna come as news to Oswald. 110 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,510 What are you jealous about? You got Nicki. 111 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,678 I know it's crazy, but, you know, I've only 112 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:48,222 known Nicki a few months. 113 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,767 I've been thinking about Kate almost my whole life. 114 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,144 I know it's crazy. 115 00:05:54,144 --> 00:05:56,229 I used to have this fantasy that, uh 116 00:05:56,229 --> 00:05:59,275 we were trapped on a deserted tropical island together. 117 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:00,651 Well, you know, not totally deserted. 118 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:03,028 It had a McDonald's, but... 119 00:06:03,028 --> 00:06:04,822 Come on, Drew, we've all had fantasies 120 00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,366 about the people in our group. 121 00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,077 I know I have. 122 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,622 Knock it off. 123 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,998 We-we're gonna be sharing a room together. 124 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,249 That's a lot of temptation. 125 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,375 You know what this is? 126 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,461 Temptation's trophy case. 127 00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:23,048 I'm just afraid if I'm down there with her alone 128 00:06:23,048 --> 00:06:25,009 someone's gonna get sad or something's gonna happen. 129 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:28,470 It'll screw things up with me and Nicki or me and Kate 130 00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:31,140 or Oswald and Kate or me and Oswald. 131 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,642 [blows] 132 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,477 Okay, I just have one question. 133 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,188 Doesn't anyone find me attractive? 134 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,439 Oh, come on, man, we've been over this. 135 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,190 You're just growing into your face. 136 00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:42,609 [laughs] 137 00:06:42,609 --> 00:06:43,819 I guess the only decent thing to do 138 00:06:43,819 --> 00:06:47,030 is to give the ticket to Oswald. 139 00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:48,282 Why don't you give it to me? 140 00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:49,450 Nothing will happen between me and Kate 141 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:51,326 since I'm so hideous. 142 00:06:51,326 --> 00:06:52,370 [grunts] 143 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,497 [blows] 144 00:06:55,497 --> 00:06:56,833 [thuds] 145 00:06:59,251 --> 00:07:00,544 Hey, Oswald, I thought you were watching 146 00:07:00,544 --> 00:07:01,879 basketball with Kate and Nicki. 147 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,172 I was, they kicked me out 148 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,258 'cause I ask too many questions. 149 00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:09,679 Hey, Lewis, can I be alone with Oswald for a second? 150 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,055 [gasps] 151 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,143 I'm not offended. The warm air just hit my lungs. 152 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,858 Uh, listen, Oswald, I kinda wanted to talk to ya. 153 00:07:22,858 --> 00:07:24,526 I was thinking, I-I'm not the guy 154 00:07:24,526 --> 00:07:25,944 who should be going to the Bahamas with her. 155 00:07:25,944 --> 00:07:29,490 So, here, you go. 156 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:32,409 Oh, my God, I'm going to the Bahamas! 157 00:07:32,409 --> 00:07:34,161 This is the greatest thing that ever... 158 00:07:34,161 --> 00:07:36,580 Wait a minute. I know what this is. 159 00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:39,082 You don't think I can take Kate any place nice on my own. 160 00:07:39,082 --> 00:07:41,168 Do you? So I'm a charity case, am I? 161 00:07:41,168 --> 00:07:44,004 Well, you can keep your darn ticket. 162 00:07:44,004 --> 00:07:45,547 - Wait, Oswald, I-I'm just-- - On the other hand... 163 00:07:45,547 --> 00:07:47,925 Maybe this is an opportunity I'll never have again. 164 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,635 And I never let my pride stand in the way before. 165 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:50,970 Bastard! 166 00:07:53,263 --> 00:07:55,140 Look what you've done to my self-esteem 167 00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:56,767 making me take a pity trip. 168 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,602 Well, you can take this ticket, mister 169 00:07:58,602 --> 00:08:01,188 and you can put it where the sun don't shine. 170 00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:04,233 On the other hand, the sun shines real nice in the Bahamas. 171 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,984 Oh, we don't have time for this. 172 00:08:05,984 --> 00:08:07,861 Oh, wait a minute. I can't go anyway. 173 00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:09,947 I have to work tomorrow. Thanks for the offer, man. 174 00:08:12,574 --> 00:08:15,244 Hey, uh, Kate. 175 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,454 I tried to give, uh, my ticket to Oswald 176 00:08:17,454 --> 00:08:19,582 but he's gotta work. 177 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,958 So, uh, I was thinking, why don't you just 178 00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:24,920 give me your ticket and I can take Nicki? 179 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,672 - Uh-- - Oh, no. 180 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,842 Drew, uh, I'd love to go, but I-I got a house to show. 181 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:34,388 Plus, uh, I feel too fat to get in a bathing suit right now. 182 00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:36,723 Aw, come on, honey. We've been through this already. 183 00:08:36,723 --> 00:08:39,643 You're not fat. You're just at your winter weight. 184 00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:41,020 [chuckles] 185 00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,565 Drew, if you think that I'm gonna lose 15 pounds 186 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,150 just so you can go to the Bahamas... 187 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,234 Alright, alright, it's al... 188 00:08:47,234 --> 00:08:49,278 [oven timer beeps] 189 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:53,366 Now let me go get my biscuits. 190 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,494 You got a problem with that? 191 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,084 Hey, look, if I can be big and sexy, you could be... 192 00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:09,256 Look, Drew, it was really sweet 193 00:09:09,256 --> 00:09:11,175 you trying to give the ticket to Oswald 194 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,218 but you and I are gonna have a great time 195 00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:15,179 doing stuff alone together. 196 00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:17,097 We haven't done that for years. 197 00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:20,058 Look, uh, I gotta warn you, I snore. 198 00:09:20,058 --> 00:09:21,978 Upstairs and down. 199 00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:30,319 I can't think of anyone I'd rather go with. 200 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:33,114 [Lewis clearing throat] 201 00:09:34,948 --> 00:09:38,661 Oh, I'm sorry. Ugly people have to clear their throat a lot. 202 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,955 [instrumental music] 203 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,583 [aircraft droning] 204 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,295 [sobbing] 205 00:09:48,295 --> 00:09:49,672 - You okay now? - Yeah. 206 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,382 But I surely do miss my Katie bear. 207 00:09:52,382 --> 00:09:53,968 [sniffles] 208 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,887 I kept a little something to remind me of her. 209 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,223 It's the handle to her luggage. 210 00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:03,269 [sniffs] Still smells like her hand cream. 211 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,896 Hey, I was the one carrying it. 212 00:10:11,568 --> 00:10:14,238 Well, it's nice of Drew to finally let us use his house. 213 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,240 Yeah, it's about time he started treating us like adults. 214 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,743 I know. 215 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,453 So what do you wanna do first, dodgeball or king of the couch? 216 00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:23,497 - Dodgeball. You're it. - Hey, wait a second. 217 00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,374 Think for a minute. 218 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,835 - Oh, nice try. - Oh! 219 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:31,047 [laughing] No, there's a lot of fragile stuff in here. 220 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,090 If we play dodgeball, we might break something. 221 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,675 - Oh, okay, let's go outside. - No, we should play inside. 222 00:10:35,675 --> 00:10:37,011 But we should take all the breakables 223 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,762 and put them in one big box. 224 00:10:38,762 --> 00:10:40,430 Good thinking. 225 00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:43,183 Uh, breakable, breakable, breakable. 226 00:10:43,183 --> 00:10:45,227 - Ooh. - Oh... 227 00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:47,688 Wait, wait, wait. This is crazy. 228 00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,565 If we play in here, we might just break one or two things 229 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,233 but if we put everything in the box 230 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:54,737 and something happens to the box, we break everything. 231 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,740 You're just jealous 'cause it was my idea. 232 00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:02,828 - Alright, I admit it. - Alright. 233 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,789 Breakable, breakable. Hey, wait a minute. Here's a question. 234 00:11:05,789 --> 00:11:07,666 - What do we do with the box? - Just put it in the basement. 235 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:10,460 - No. Stairway's too narrow. - No, stupid. 236 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:13,172 I'll slide it down the banister, you try to catch it. 237 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,384 - Oh, okay. - Alright. 238 00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:18,969 Oh, oh, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. 239 00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,595 It's too damp in the basement. 240 00:11:20,595 --> 00:11:22,556 - The closet? - Great! Oh, no. 241 00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,808 Then where's our clubhouse? 242 00:11:24,808 --> 00:11:27,477 What are we gonna do with it? It's ruining our lives! 243 00:11:27,477 --> 00:11:29,188 Man, all this pressure. 244 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,814 If Drew didn't think he could handle himself with Kate 245 00:11:30,814 --> 00:11:32,524 why didn't he just stay home? 246 00:11:32,524 --> 00:11:34,318 [glass shattering] 247 00:11:37,112 --> 00:11:38,656 What do you wanna deal with first? 248 00:11:41,408 --> 00:11:44,536 The thing with Drew. What the hell are you talking about? 249 00:11:44,536 --> 00:11:45,871 Look, it's all, it's just all these 250 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,873 silly ideas he has in his head. He... 251 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,958 He's got all these unresolved feelings about Kate 252 00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:52,711 and all these fantasies about being on a deserted island. 253 00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:55,380 I could tell you not to do anything stupid, but I'm ki... 254 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:56,632 [door shuts] 255 00:11:59,676 --> 00:12:02,054 Looks like all the beautiful people are heading for trouble. 256 00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:05,558 [instrumental music] 257 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,061 [instrumental music] 258 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,313 Boy, if I ever get my hands on the baggage guy 259 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,148 who pulled off my handle... 260 00:12:13,148 --> 00:12:14,316 [thuds] 261 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,193 Wow, look at the ocean! 262 00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:20,406 Wow, look at the one bed. 263 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,117 Hey, we've slept in the same bed before. 264 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,494 Yeah, when we were ten. 265 00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,997 You wanna quit jumping up and down the bed like that? 266 00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:33,002 You're right. What am I doing cooped up in this room? 267 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,087 - Let's go down to the pool. - Hey, what are you doing? 268 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:38,548 - Taking my clothes off. - Oh, G.. Don't do that! 269 00:12:38,548 --> 00:12:41,593 Drew, I wore my suit under my clothes. 270 00:12:41,593 --> 00:12:44,930 Oh, phew. I'm sorry I'm a big goof. 271 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:45,973 Ooh! 272 00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:50,602 Drew, get your trunks on, so we can go down to the pool. 273 00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,188 Uh, no, I'm gonna stay here. I'm gonna... 274 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:55,065 I'm kinda wiped out from the, uh, from the time change. 275 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,403 Drew, there's no time change. 276 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:03,115 Hey, I had six beers on the airplane. There's a time change. 277 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,369 Come on down. 278 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:10,581 Look how tense you are from work. 279 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,291 Did I tell you that I'm really glad I came? 280 00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:15,919 I have more fun with you than with anyone else. 281 00:13:15,919 --> 00:13:17,838 Oh, get up, my leg's asleep, my leg's asleep. 282 00:13:25,929 --> 00:13:28,307 - I'll rub it for you. - It's awake. It's awake. 283 00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:35,939 We're in this map, Damien. We're somewhere over Miami. 284 00:13:35,939 --> 00:13:37,482 [exhales sharply] Huh? Oh. 285 00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:40,527 I don't know what to think, Damien. 286 00:13:40,527 --> 00:13:42,279 I've never done anything like this before 287 00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,406 but Kate and I were friends, and we fell in love. 288 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,034 It happened once, it could happen again, right? 289 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,202 God, if anything is happening... 290 00:13:49,202 --> 00:13:53,081 I gotta stop thinking about this, or I'm gonna go crazy. 291 00:13:53,081 --> 00:13:56,961 Well, if I could do that, then I could relax. 292 00:13:57,919 --> 00:14:00,214 [instrumental music] 293 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,716 So now aren't you glad we went down to the pool? 294 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,801 We were the most popular people there. 295 00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:06,136 Hey, did you like when I had the cabana boy 296 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,388 drop fish sticks into my mouth? 297 00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:10,933 It was very cute when you slid out of the water on your belly 298 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,768 and let that little kid pet your tongue. 299 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,478 Yeah. 300 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,396 God, I knew it! 301 00:14:16,396 --> 00:14:18,107 The pop bottles I brought from home to replace 302 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,776 the minibar bottles are too big! 303 00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,861 [knocking on door] Oh, crap! 304 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:24,362 It's the honor bar police. 305 00:14:24,362 --> 00:14:25,406 [bottles clinking] 306 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:26,490 [drawer shuts] 307 00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:30,869 - Ah. - Ah. Room service. 308 00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:32,413 Uh, we didn't order anything. 309 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:35,040 Oh, caviar and creme fraiche 310 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,792 for the honeymoon couple. 311 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,918 Compliments of the hotel. 312 00:14:38,918 --> 00:14:40,587 Oh, free food for honeymoon couples. 313 00:14:40,587 --> 00:14:42,464 Honey, we should have gotten married a long time ago. 314 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,800 - Yeah. Ah... - Uh, while I'm here... 315 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,384 Can I check your honor bar? 316 00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:48,470 Hey, what the hell does honor bar mean, huh 317 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,640 if you have to check up on a guy? 318 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,142 What happened to honesty? What, uh, what happened to trust? 319 00:14:54,142 --> 00:14:56,936 [chuckles] Well, they're probably in your suitcase with our towels 320 00:14:56,936 --> 00:15:01,734 and the, uh, one, two, three, four ashtrays. 321 00:15:06,529 --> 00:15:08,949 (Kate) You know what, Drew? 322 00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:11,869 I think we should do this every year. 323 00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:15,580 Yeah. I'd like that. 324 00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:18,584 [birds chirping] 325 00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:23,255 Wow, we are so close to the ocean, we can hear the birds. 326 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,381 It's almost like they're right in our room. 327 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:25,424 [birds squawking] 328 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,467 Oh, my God! 329 00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:30,011 Those birds are all gonna come in here! Close the door. 330 00:15:30,011 --> 00:15:32,347 I'm not going over there with all those birds. 331 00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:34,307 I think they just want the food. Give them the food. 332 00:15:34,307 --> 00:15:35,434 I'm not giving them food. 333 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,644 [both screaming] 334 00:15:37,644 --> 00:15:40,355 - Oh, God! - I don't believe this! 335 00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:42,024 Someone's in here! 336 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:45,778 We gotta call someone or something. 337 00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,531 Yeah, hi, this is Drew Carey in 107. 338 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:53,284 Yeah, I got a bunch of birds flapping around in my room. 339 00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:55,662 Yeah, well, it may be part of the charm of the Bahamas 340 00:15:55,662 --> 00:15:57,372 but they're freaking us out. 341 00:15:57,372 --> 00:16:00,041 Can you send someone up here to get rid of 'em? Thanks. 342 00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:01,918 Oh, oh, and hurry up, 'cause I 343 00:16:01,918 --> 00:16:03,461 I think they're getting into the honor bar. 344 00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:04,588 [mouthing] 345 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,509 Uh-huh. 346 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,719 Well, if we're gonna be here a while 347 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:13,513 I might as well make myself comfortable. 348 00:16:13,513 --> 00:16:15,932 This is perfect. 349 00:16:15,932 --> 00:16:19,185 We're in the Bahamas, and we're stuck in the bathroom. 350 00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:20,520 Hey, you wanna hear the ocean? 351 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,815 [toilet flushes] 352 00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:27,944 - Drew. - Hm. 353 00:16:27,944 --> 00:16:31,031 I don't know about Oswald and me. 354 00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:36,453 76, 78. 355 00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,246 I don't know what I'm gonna do when I see him. 356 00:16:38,246 --> 00:16:40,957 I might have to kill him or kill myself. 357 00:16:40,957 --> 00:16:43,293 Is that romantic or pathetic? 358 00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,920 Hey, okay. Goodnight. 359 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,297 Hey, 79. 360 00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,882 If you were on a jury and I killed somebody 361 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,927 what would you do? Where are you going? Hey! 362 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,928 I thought you were crazy about Oswald. I mean... 363 00:16:53,928 --> 00:16:55,597 When did you start feeling this way? 364 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,015 I thought you guys were getting along great. 365 00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:59,351 You know, I'm-I'm shocked. 366 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,853 We are, but getting along great is one thing. 367 00:17:01,853 --> 00:17:04,940 How do I know if he's the right person? 368 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,399 Uh, Kate, let me tell you something I've learned 369 00:17:06,399 --> 00:17:08,318 about relationships. 370 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:10,779 Okay, anymore questions? 371 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,031 [laughs] 372 00:17:13,823 --> 00:17:17,285 You don't give yourself enough credit. You're great with women. 373 00:17:17,285 --> 00:17:19,871 I just don't know about Oswald and me. 374 00:17:19,871 --> 00:17:22,207 I'm at the age where if I'm in a relationship 375 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:25,711 and it's not heading towards marriage, I've gotta let it go. 376 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,547 I guess what I'm saying is 377 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:32,175 is Oswald the guy or was he just there? 378 00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:35,386 Well, you know, there's a lot of guys who were there. 379 00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:38,015 I know. Maybe that's what's bothering me. 380 00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:42,352 Maybe I need someone who I can talk to like I'm talking to you. 381 00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:45,189 But you, you picked Oswald. 382 00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:47,149 Yeah. 383 00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:51,152 Okay... 384 00:17:51,152 --> 00:17:52,529 I-I wanna tell you something I should have told you 385 00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,073 a long time ago. 386 00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,078 [exhales sharply] 387 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:03,665 Ever since we were seven years old... 388 00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,292 [sighs] 389 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,627 ...Oswald knew you were the one. 390 00:18:07,627 --> 00:18:10,713 - He did? - Yeah. 391 00:18:10,713 --> 00:18:13,842 He always thought, said 392 00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:16,637 that you were the prettiest and the sweetest 393 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,930 and the easiest to get along with. 394 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:21,516 And he even had this crazy dream that one day you would, uh 395 00:18:21,516 --> 00:18:24,269 live on a deserted island with him that had a McDonald's. 396 00:18:25,937 --> 00:18:26,939 Wow! 397 00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:31,276 How could you not love a guy like that? 398 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,988 Thanks, Drew. 399 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:36,406 [knocking on door] 400 00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:38,617 (male 'My eyes! My-my eyes!' 401 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,285 Oh, my God. 402 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:41,953 My eyes! My eyes! 403 00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:43,163 [gasping] 404 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,123 [laughing] 405 00:18:45,123 --> 00:18:47,376 Just a little island humor. Ha-Ha... 406 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,752 Look, um, just about got all the birds out 407 00:18:49,752 --> 00:18:51,713 and I'll be done in a second. 408 00:18:53,923 --> 00:18:56,092 [door shuts] 409 00:18:56,092 --> 00:19:00,305 Hey, Drew, you said that Oswald felt this way since he was seven 410 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,682 but I've only known him since he was ten. 411 00:19:02,682 --> 00:19:05,393 I've known you since I was seven. 412 00:19:05,393 --> 00:19:07,729 [gasps] Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right, he was ten 413 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,440 but his, his mom told me he was seven to make him seem smarter. 414 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,608 Oh. 415 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,988 Excuse me. Is this the, uh, Carey-O'Brien room? 416 00:19:16,988 --> 00:19:19,699 Uh, yeah, but you don't wanna go in there. 417 00:19:19,699 --> 00:19:22,160 - Why not? - Uh, they went wild! 418 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,913 Look what them animals did to my pillow cases. 419 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:27,165 Oh, my God, they tore up the pillows? 420 00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:29,667 Yeah, them some bold, little devils, too. 421 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:32,796 I walked in there and they just strutting around-- 422 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,422 Oh... 423 00:19:34,422 --> 00:19:38,260 And crappin' all over the floor. 424 00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:44,974 We're not talking about people anymore, are we? 425 00:19:44,974 --> 00:19:46,893 Oh, no, we're talking about the birds 426 00:19:46,893 --> 00:19:49,021 that got in here and made this mess. 427 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,023 Uh-huh. Oh. 428 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,777 Oswald? 429 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,779 What the, the heck are you doing here? 430 00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:01,491 You got all the questions, don't you, Mr. Carey? 431 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,618 How about some answers? I talked to Lewis. 432 00:20:03,618 --> 00:20:05,328 What's going on between you and Kate? 433 00:20:05,328 --> 00:20:08,706 Wait, wait a second, you came all the way down to the Bahamas. 434 00:20:08,706 --> 00:20:10,667 You thought something was going on between me and Kate? 435 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,293 Alright, I got three questions for you 436 00:20:12,293 --> 00:20:13,837 and I want you to answer them honestly. 437 00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,297 Yeah, sure. 438 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,548 - Did you have sex? - No. 439 00:20:17,548 --> 00:20:19,259 - Really? Really? - Yes. Yes! 440 00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:21,178 Okay, that's three. Thanks, man. 441 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,222 [mumbling] 442 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:28,893 Okay, listen, take this key, you're gonna go in there 443 00:20:28,893 --> 00:20:30,604 and you're gonna have a romantic evening with Kate. 444 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,647 We'll tell her it was a surprise we've been planning all along. 445 00:20:32,647 --> 00:20:35,275 - You mean it? - Yeah. 446 00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,903 Oh, my God, that's the nicest... 447 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,031 Wait a minute, I know what you're trying to do. 448 00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,284 You ran up a huge room-service tab 449 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:45,744 and you wanna stick it to me. 450 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,913 Well, of all the lousy... 451 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,456 On the other hand, I did come down here for free. 452 00:20:50,456 --> 00:20:52,250 It's 80 degrees and you're going back to Cleveland 453 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,751 where it's ten-below. 454 00:20:53,751 --> 00:20:55,587 Wait a minute, I just read an article that said 455 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,255 that people in colder climates live longer. 456 00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:58,966 So now you're trying to kill me! 457 00:21:01,467 --> 00:21:03,470 Killing me with kindness. Thanks, bud. 458 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,724 Hey, uh, listen, I'm gonna have a little time on my hands. 459 00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:11,436 I heard there was a nude beach around here. Is that true? 460 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:14,773 Oh, will you be watchin' or joinin' in? 461 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,276 I was thinking of joinin' in, you know? 462 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,278 No, man. 463 00:21:20,403 --> 00:21:21,989 [instrumental music] 464 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,780 (man on TV) 'We now conclude our broadcast day.' 465 00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:26,450 'Please enjoy the Winfred Louder Boys chorus' 466 00:21:26,510 --> 00:21:29,250 'conducted by Miss Mimi Bobeck.' 467 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,930 ♪ Drew Carey is a geek ♪ 468 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000 ♪ He sleeps alone at night ♪ 469 00:21:34,070 --> 00:21:36,000 ♪ Because he can't stop eating ♪ 470 00:21:36,070 --> 00:21:38,000 ♪ Everything in sight ♪ 471 00:21:38,070 --> 00:21:39,890 ♪ He has a nowhere job ♪ 472 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,830 ♪ He'll never get ahead ♪ 473 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:45,130 ♪ And we've seen better hygiene on a horse named Mr. Ed ♪ 474 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,530 ♪ Oh bite me pig bite me pig ♪ 475 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,570 ♪ Bite me all the way ♪ 476 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,510 ♪ You're a big fat doughboy and that's all I have to say ♪ 477 00:21:52,570 --> 00:21:54,070 ♪ Hey ♪ 478 00:21:57,815 --> 00:22:00,485 [instrumental music]